That means I don't want to do what I am doing today but I am doing it anyway.
If it were up to me, here's what I would do today:
1. Take the little girls to school and not pick them up.
2. Clean the house, especially focusing on laundry. I got used to my laundry state over the past several months and having to dig for clothes is really ticking me off.
3. Call my friend Jess and talk while I am cleaning.
4. Relax and do something that I want to do. Even if it's just feeling sorry for myself.
5. If the mood strikes me, maybe do something to prepare for the onslaught of hungry kids returning home.
6. Not pick Mack up from school.
7. Not go anywhere or do anything tonight.
8. Commiserate with the Hubba about his stressful week and think of something to do to ease his burdens.
But that is not my day today. What I will actually be doing...
1. Taking Pink and Wink to school, loading the dishwasher, getting myself ready for the day and heading over to Pinkleberry's school with my birth ball to tell the kids something about what I do as a doula.
2. Picking Pink and Wink up from school and taking them to the free day at the zoo with one of Pink's school friends and her Grandma.
3. Spending a couple hours there walking around outside in the cold and then racing back in order to pick up Mack from school on time.
4. Come home to a trashed house full of hungry kids and no food in sight.
5. Stress about food and dinner, ad nauseum, etc, and so forth and so on... With lots of weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth--mostly mine.
6. Probably forget some evening kids' activity and cry a lot from the mommy guilt. (That's what happened last night, anyway.)
7. Commiserate with the Hubba about his stressful week, but otherwise feel useless to help.
8. Go to bed (sweet oblivion) as early as possible (Also what I tried to do last night, but was interrupted almost every single hour until I had insomnia and lay awake for hours stressing.)
I love your writing...it evokes emotions that I feel so clearly but cannot communicate like you do. I was giggling at this post...not at you but you know, 'with you'
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