So you know I was all prepared for the questions I would get from children about sex. We determined to be open and use correct vocabulary. I don't think we've had issue with it.
Today, I was thrown for a loop, though. Mack was eating breakfast and said:
One thing I don't get is how moms know that they're not pregnant.
Yeah. I wasn't really expecting that one. So I'm quickly thinking about how I know that I'm not pregnant and trying to figure out how can I explain this to him in an age-appropriate way without giving him way too much information that he really doesn't know that he does not want to know right now?
I started with the safe information. I told him about my fertility chart (which is on the counter in my bathroom, which is the only bathroom he ever uses so I know he's seen it). That's safe. So I talked about how I take my temperature every day and I explained how the temps go up and down and up and down again every month. But when they stay up, then you are pregnant. But I was really chickening out from explaining the most obvious way a woman knows that she is not pregnant. So then I just reminded him about the woman's egg (he already knows you need an egg from a mother and sperm from the father--although now I'm thinking we should probably use ovum to avoid confusion...) and that each month the egg gets ready so it can be made into a baby. And if the egg is not made into a baby, then the egg doesn't work anymore and the woman's body gets rid of it. So when that happens, she knows she's not pregnant.
But honestly, I know he's picturing me sitting there laying an egg and saying "Well, hon, this one didn't turn into a baby."
So you have five seconds to type in an age-appropriate answer to an 8 year old. What would you say?
Beginning when girls are teenagers, their bodies start practicing - getting ready to make babies by making a safe place for the baby to grow. It happens every single month, whether or not they are married and ready to start having babies or not. If they aren't going to have a baby, then all the stuff that the body uses to practice getting a safe place ready isn't needed any more. And the body gets rid of it all, and makes another safe place the next month. When a girl sees her body getting rid of all this stuff, that is one way she knows she is not pregnant.
ReplyDeleteIf he wants to know what the stuff is - I think I'd branch into the healing property of scabs and how blood clots form in the body. I don't know how graphic you actually want to be at the table while you are eating. But at eight, my kids had a fairly good anatomically correct book that I didn't mind them looking at. I'd probably get out the book and show him where the place was and the direction all the stuff went when it wasn't needed and leave it at that.
You're good. Was that really off the top of your head?
DeleteWe have two bathrooms. But the little scientist prefers to use the shower in the master bath. Naturally, I assumed sooner or later, the subject might come up (feminine products & garbage & etc) - but sure enough - if it occured to my kids - they likely already had too much information as it was - from whatever source: me, dad, bathroom stall walls at school (ehk), friends?
ReplyDeleteSo . . . I'm not really sure what they know and what they don't know. And how awful is that really (!!!) Yes, its awful in my mind. But, what can I do - there are some conversations they simply refuse to have - with anyone. So . . .
someday,
maybe it will come in useful for someone. ha ha
There was a kinder age girl here awhile back (mom was recently out of the hospital - and I was keeping an eye on her). Anyway, she wanted to know how the boys used the urinal in the hall bathroom . . .
well . . .
not knowing how her parents treated the whole conversation and what kind of vocab they used - I wasn't particularly uncomfortable until . . . knowing she was an only child - I just went ahead and asked, "Do you know that boys and girls are different, with the way they go to the bathroom?" She didn't. And I hope I didn't go to far when I told her that boys had something called a p----, so they could stand up to go, and etc. I guess she was trying to envision how one sat on a urinal. lol